Thursday, November 28, 2019

Happy Thanksgiving! Nov 28, 2019

Three Gems of Our Family

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you, wherever you may be! This is one of the very best times of the year. In some ways even better than Christmas. Here at Thanksgiving the stress of the holiday is less than it will be next month, while the joy and the gratitude abound.

Sisters Maida Gower Shepard and Vicki Gower Johnston
Anacortes, Washington, 1995
I am grateful at this time of the year for all my family. Even those with whom I don't always agree. I am especially grateful for the three senior most members of our family: my mother Maida Shepard, and my two aunts Thelma Shepard Boyd and Vicki Gower Johnston.

All three of them are gems within our larger family. They represent the generation that went before us. Theirs was a time of hard workers and bold dreamers. They lived through some of the darkest times of the 20th century, including the Great Depression and World War II. They are part of what Tom Brokaw famously called "the greatest generation."

My mother Maida Gower Shepard at 95 lives in her home of 40 years, with her daughter Barbara in Anacortes, Washington. My aunt Vicki Gower Johnston lives in a beautiful home/care facility near her daughter Paula in Chandler, Arizona.

2019 - Thelma Shepard Boyd (left) with daughter 
Kim Boyd Clark (right) and granddaughter Amanda Davis
And my aunt Thelma Shepard Boyd recently moved into her own independent living apartment in El Cajon, California, a few blocks from her grandchildren Jeremy and Desiree Ortiz who are very helpful to her. Thelma's daughter Kim and husband Jeff, motor home travelers, are in Virginia for a while with their newest grandchild Cooper and his parents Amanda and Justin.

My Mom and my Aunts represent a combined 264 years of our family's history! They are the present day anchors to our Shepard and Gower history. What a wealth of memories is contained in the lives and hearts of these 3! They experienced our family's movement from Arkansas to Oklahoma and Colorado, to California to Western Washington, and to Kansas, Arizona and elsewhere. And they continue to lead the way in our family lovingly and emotionally. Thanks be to God for the lives of Maida, Vicki and Thelma. They mean more to us than all the thanks we can give. But we thank them anyway, and want them to know they are loved, appreciated and honored during this season of Thanksgiving.
- - -
Steve Shepard

Friday, November 22, 2019

Importance of Extended Family, Nov 22, 2019

The trouble with most of us
is that we'd rather be ruined by praise
than saved by criticism.
~Norman Vincent Peale

I have been writing this family blog for 12 years now. I have enjoyed doing research into our family history and then sharing that information with all of you. It has been a journey that has included some remarkable historical discoveries. It has also given me a larger sense of what it means to be family. In addition it has been an opportunity to connect with relatives that I might never have known. Writing this blog has been a positive, satisfying experience. Thanks to those of you who are regular readers and who have been supportive of this endeavor.

Speaking of Extended Family:
A family gathering in San Diego, Easter, 2014
An Anonymous Troll. I should not have been surprised to discover recently that not everyone views this blog the same way. Recently a reader of The Shepard's Crook has reacted quite negatively. For the last month or so an anonymous "troll" -- as such a person is called online -- has left numerous negative remarks at the bottom of The Shepard's Cook in the comments section. They have been angry, critical comments, quite different from the dozens of other comments that have been posted over the years. Fortunately Blogger is set up so all comments are moderated. They do not get automatically posted. I have mentioned before that I invite readers to post comments at the end of the blog posts. But in order for them to be made available for all to see, they must be respectful, not hateful. Unfortunately the recent anonymous comments have been inappropriate. It is a surprising development that, as much as anything else, is one more sign of the angry times in which we live.

One of the most important life lessons I ever learned was shared with me by a colleague many years ago when we lived in the Bay Area. I have never forgotten it. He said "You can always learn more about yourself from those who criticize you than from those who compliment you." That is simply another way of expressing the truth in the Norman Vincent Peale quote at the top of this post. It is a life lesson that has served me well over the years.

Want To Be Added to The Mailing List? This is a good time for me to mention again that when I send out notices of new posts I am careful with the emailing list that I use. I do not send out notices with everyone's email available for all to see. Instead I "blind copy" everyone so that your email address is protected. It is simply one more way of being respectful of personal information. If you want to be added to the list of people to whom I send notifications of new posts, or if you want to removed from that list, just sent me an email and let me know.

Speaking of Extended Family:
A Reunion in Oklahoma, July, 2009
The Importance of Extended Family. A recent study by Sarah Woods of the University of Texas Southwest Medical Center made an interesting discovery about the effect of family life on physical health. It has long been known that the health of one's marital relationship can have a great affect on one's physical well being. But this recent study discovered something quite surprising. It found that the emotional climate of one's extended family has an even bigger effect on overall health, including the development or worsening of chronic conditions such as stroke and headaches. Here's the take-away from that: As you prepare for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday next week, be grateful for your extended family. And don't underestimate the importance of their place in your well being. And your place in theirs.
- - -
Steve Shepard

Wednesday, November 13, 2019

That Great Mosaic, November 13, 2019

Bura Davis Shepard (1896-1986). Last Friday was the anniversary of the birth of my grandmother Bura Davis Shepard. She was one of the most influential people in our entire family. A woman small in stature, she was a spiritual giant in our Shepard family. She was the only person in our ancestral tree who was raised in Indiana, migrated to Beaver County, Oklahoma, and then settled with her family in San Diego where she lived the biggest part of her life. Her last few years were spent in Anacortes, Washington with her son Eugene Shepard and his family. She and husband William are buried today in San Diego's Greenwood Cemetery.

William and Bura Davis Shepard
San Diego, 1960s
When I remember my grandmother Bura Davis Shepard I always think of her faithful devotion to the Church of Christ. Her father was James Davis and her mother was Callie Spear Davis. The Davises and the Spears were Church of Christ families who migrated to Indiana from Southeastern Ohio about the time of the Civil War. They were among the founders of the New Union Church just outside Spencer, Indiana. James and Callie brought their faith with them when they settled in Indiana. From her childhood my Grandmother Bura developed that same love and devotion to the Church. It was part of the DNA she inherited from both the Davises and the Spears, and that she passed on religiously (so to speak) to her descendants.

I have not found many details about the church life of the Spears and the Davises in Ohio. But I do know that Monroe County, Ohio where they lived in the early to mid 19th century was in the very region where the Restoration movement originated. The ancestral home of the Spears and Davises in Monroe County was just outside the County Seat of Woodsfield, where there is an historic Restoration Movement congregation that began in pre-Civil War days. Alexander Campbell himself preached at the dedication of the congregation in 1855. Because of grandmother Bura and her Davis and Spear kinfolk, we have a number of family members today who can trace our lineage in the Restoration Movement back for 6, 7, even 8 generations.

On this month of the 123rd anniversary of my grandmother's birth, I am grateful for her life and that of her husband William Shepard. Their love and dedication to their family and their faith is a treasured legacy that we hold dear.

Karl Wilk's High School Photo
Granite Hills High, 1987
Karl Frederickpaul Wilk (1969-1997). One of William and Bura's great grandchildren was Karl Frederickpaul Wilk. He was the son of my cousin Beverly Russell Wilk and her husband Phil Wilk. Had she lived, cousin Bev would have turned 80 years old in April of this year. Unfortunately she died at just 35 years old of an unexpected brain aneurism. When she died, she left her 39 year old husband with two youngsters: a 1 year old daughter, Shannon, and a 5 year old son, Karl. It was to Phil's great credit that he did such a good job of being a single parent for many years. He was assisted in raising his children by grandmother Bura Shepard who, after the death of granddad William, lived with Phil and his family for several years.

Last Tuesday would have been Karl's 50th birthday. His unfortunate death occurred 22 years old in San Diego. Substance abuse was his downfall, resulting in him taking his own life. He died here in San Diego way too young at just 27 years old, a handsome young man full of promise and hope. Like others in our family tree, his life is a cautionary tale, reminding us that life is fragile and the dangers are many. Karl's sister and niece, Shannon and Emma Wilk, live in Atchison, Kansas. Shannon shared with me recently some thoughts on the life of her brother Karl.

Emma and Shannon Wilk
Atchison, Kansas 2019
"I think of him often. I tell my daughter about him all the time. Little things, like his favorite music, movies he liked. My memories are full of the good times. Even the ones of him picking on me. He was my big brother, and I miss him terribly. He loved music, his friends and loved to make you laugh. Karl will always be on my mind. Never a day goes by that I don't think of him."

Karl and Shannon's grandparents were my aunt and uncle, Pauline Shepard Russell (1916-2000) and her husband Bill Russell (1908-1997). Uncle Bill died in the summer of 1997 at 88 years old, just three months before Karl took his own life.

We would like to think that all our family stories are positive ones. But they are not. We all know that's the way life is. Some family stories are not pleasant to recall, even though we can and do remember, and learn from, the parts of those stories that are positive and insightful. It reminds me once again that family research sometimes leaves one uneasy and discomforted. But it is all part of that great mosaic we call our family.
- - -
Steve Shepard

Friday, November 01, 2019

One Saint's Day, Nov 1, 2019


For millions of people today is All Saints Day. But for me and many others, this day of my mother's birthday can be rightly named “One Saints Day.” As the oldest member of our family my mom Maida Gower Shepard has been a beloved member of our clan for 95 years. She has always had the status of Sainthood in my book. 

Maida Gower Shepard on her 95th Birthday
with Barbara, Gary and Steve Shepard
Today her family honors her for being a generous, caring, spiritual force in our family. We gladly and joyfully celebrate her for being the glue that has held our family together for all these many years. And we do that remembering our Dad Eugene Shepard (1921-2003) who was her life partner for 58 wonderful years until his death 16 years ago. 

First and foremost we celebrate Mom today for being a caring parent of her 6 children to whom she has been, and continues to be, an emotional and spiritual guide. She has had one or more of her children living with her for the last 73 years, ever since the day their first child Gary was born in 1946. Their kids have come and gone numerous times over all those years, but through it all mom and dad created a loving and generous home where all felt welcome. 

We also celebrate mom on her birthday today for being devoted to her whole family. Their home in Anacortes was the place her mother Nola Shannon Gower spent the last few years of her life until her death in 2004. And before that theirs was the home for Dad’s mother Bura Davis Shepard for the last years of her life until she passed away in 1986.

And of course we celebrate the fact that Mom has made it to the age of 95. That doesn’t happen by accident. You don't get to be 95 without taking good care of yourself and living a healthy, wholesome life. We don't know what God has in mind for the future of our dear mother, but we do know that by the grace of God she will be well cared for, in this life and into the next. For now we joyfully have her with us for yet another birthday, and we continue to cherish every day that we are blessed by her presence.
- - -
Steve Shepard