Happy Saint Patrick's Day!, March 17, 2017

May you have the hindsight to know where you've been,

The foresight to know where you are going,

And the insight to know when you have gone too far.

~Old Irish Blessing

Happy Saint Patrick's Day Today! Best wishes to those of you of Irish descent, which includes most who are in our family tree. The Irishness of us Shepards and Gowers is one of the best things about us!

Happy Birthday to Kaylan! Birthday wishes go out this Sunday, March 19, to Kaylan Shepard who turns 18 this month! Her picture is on the right. With her auburn hair, green coat and beautiful smile, she looks very Irish and could be our family's poster person for Saint Patrick's Day! 

Kaylan is the daughter of my cousin Dane Shepard and his wife Cindy of Blanchard, Oklahoma. Born in California in 1999, Kaylan has spent most of her life in Oklahoma. She is the last of the 21 Great Grandchildren of William and Bura Davis Shepard.

Finetta Dearien Shannon. One of the most important family strains of Irish descendants in our family tree is the lineage belonging to my Grandmother Nola Shannon Gower (1903-2004). I have written about Grandma Gower's celtic ancestry numerous times in this blog, including here, here and here.

Grandma Gower's mother Finetta Dearien Shannon was a native Arkansan who experienced a difficult past that has been remembered through the years and is still remembered today because it was so troubling. In view of the conflict we have been having in our family these days, it might be helpful to take a detailed look at this part of our family history. 

My Great Grandmother Finetta Dearien Shannon (1861-1960) was born 156 years ago this week. She was the child of Augustus Marvin Dearien and Mr. Dearien's own step-daughter, a teenager named Roena Norton. Finetta's father Augustus Dearien compounded his grave error by causing the disappearance of his step-daughter Roena after she had given birth to his child. 

Sam Shannon and Finetta Dearien Shannon

We don't know exactly what became of Roena. Not long after Finetta was born, Roena simply disappeared, never to be heard from again. One family legend has it that her step-father caused her death in some famous local caves, probably the nearby Blanchard Springs Caverns. Another legend says that she was simply taken away never to return. In recent years I have tried to locate Roena in the genealogical records available to me from the mid 19th century, but to no avail. 

Roena's daughter Finetta was raised by her Grandmother Elizabeth Mitchell Dearien and her unscrupulous father Augustus Dearien. It was an unpleasant situation that caused a great amount of contention, heartache and conflict and was one of the most embarrassing domestic developments ever in our family. 

The US Census records for the period from 1830 to 1880 tell an interesting story about Finetta and her incestuous father Augustus Dearien.

The 1830 US Census shows the family of 16 year old Augustus Dearien living in Virginia, in a household that reported owning 4 slaves. It may have been in that household that the teenager Augustus Dearien learned that some people were not to be valued, but were simply to serve the needs of the head of the household.

The 1860 US Census (taken 9 months before Finetta was born) lists Augustus and Elizabeth Dearien and their family living in Richwoods Township, Stone County, Arkansas. The child Roena J. is listed as being 20 years old (which may have been inaccurate). The Census was taken in September, 1860, just about the time Roena became pregnant with Finetta.

snippet from the 1870 U.S. Census

The 1870 US Census (a snippet from which is seen above) indicates that the Deariens were living in Sylamore Township in Stone County, Arkansas at the time. One of the children of this family is named "Mitchell Dearien" and was 8 years old, which would have been Finetta's age. This may be a reference to Finetta. The other family members are listed with their ages. Could it be the family gave 8 year old Finetta the name "Mitchell"? Mitchell was Finetta's Grandmother's maiden name, and was the last name given to Finetta in the 1880 Census, 10 years later (see next paragraph). 

snippet from the 1880 U.S. Census

The 1880 US Census (a snippet from which is seen above) shows the Deariens still living in Sylamore Township in Stone County, Arkansas. This listing only shows father Augustus M., mother Lucinda, and one child, 18 year old "Vinettie Mitchel." Vinettie is surely a reference to Finetta, whose grandmother's maiden name was Mitchell. The information given to the Census taker was that this 18 year old was not one of the children but was simply a "boarder." Finetta is not even afforded the privilege of being a member of the family!

It is a sordid and tragic story that comes together when looking at the history of Finetta and her incestuous father. It was a situation that made for conflict, unhappiness and embarrassment, much of which has continued through the years. But the good news is that the ill-born Finetta went on to make a good life for herself with husband Sam Shannon, in the very community where she was born and raised. The last of the 9 children born to Finetta and Sam was my grandmother Nola Shannon Gower. 

This historical survey in the last few posts of conflicts in our family has been interesting to say the least. Whether it helps in dealing with our present squabble remains to be seen. If nothing else it reminds us that we are all too human and susceptible to dissension. The fact of the matter is that conflicts sometime come our way, the important thing is how we choose to deal with them.
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Steve Shepard

Living Well Is the Best Revenge, May 5, 2015

Living well is the best revenge.

~George Herbert

Shepard Family Reunion 2015. A family reunion is being planned for this summer on Saturday, August 22 at the home of Patrick and Nicole Shepard in the Seattle suburb of Bothell, Washington. All family and friends are invited to attend. More details will be forthcoming as the date draws near.

One Remarkable Mother. During this week leading up to Mother's Day I would like to feature a person in our family's past whose was a remarkable mother. She was not remarkable because of her grace or beauty, her charm or her ability to embody the best qualities of motherhood as we understand it today. I don't know her well enough to say any of those things about her with any certainty. I consider her a remarkable woman because of what we DO know about her, which is significant, even though she lived her entire life in the 19th century.

Her name was Elizabeth (Liza) Lucinda Mitchell, and she was the Great Grandmother of my Grandmother Nola Shannon Gower. Here is her lineage:

• Elizabeth (Liza) Lucinda Mitchell (1817-1881), who married Andy Norton (1820-?) then Gus Dearien (1817-1900)
• Roena Norton (1841-?) 
• Finetta Dearien Shannon (1861-1960), who married Samuel Pickens Shannon (1858-1930)
• Nola Shannon Gower (1903-2004), who married Leroy Gower (1899-1974)
• Maida Gower Shepard (b. 1924), who married Eugene Shepard (1921-2003)
• Steve Shepard (b. 1948), who married Cynthia Harris (b. 1948)
• Nathan Shepard (b. 1977), who married Chenda Sou (b. 1980)
• Preslea Shepard (b. 2010)

Elizabeth Mitchell was born in South Carolina in 1817 to Henry and Abba Mitchell, but as a young woman moved westward with her family. They lived for short periods of time in Georgia and then Tennessee before settling in Stone County, Arkansas where she lived most of the rest of her life. Stone County is where both my Gower grandparents were born and raised.

About 1840 Elizabeth married a man named Andy Norton near Mountain View, Arkansas, and by him had one daughter, Roena Norton. That marriage ended after just a few years and she then married a man named Gus Dearien and with him had two other children, David and Mary. One of the uglier events of our family history occurred when Elizabeth's second husband Gus Dearien had a child by his stepdaughter Roena Norton. He then added insult to injury by causing Roena's disappearance, but kept the child Finetta, and raised her in their home. I have written about that previously in this family blog and do not need to dwell on it here. This post is more about Elizabeth Mitchell Dearien, mother of Rowena and grandmother of Finetta Clementine Dearien. (See picture above of Finetta and her daughter Nola.)

Living well is the best revenge. Despite the dysfunction of the Dearien family, Elizabeth seems to have made a decent life for herself and her children. Her first child Finetta actually created a wonderful family of her own when she married Samuel Pickens Shannon. With him she bore 9 children, the last one being my Grandmother Nola Shannon Gower. Elizabeth and Finetta each had plenty of justification for being bitter and resentful of Gus' unscrupulous actions. Instead Elizabeth illustrates the truth of the saying of George Herbert, "Living well is the best revenge." 

She had all the reason in the world to get back at her husband. Instead she made the best of what came her way. She was a remarkable woman of extraordinary fortitude who endured to the end, and made of her life and her family the best she could under the circumstances. Obviously the sparsely populated hills of Northern Arkansas in the mid 19th century (during and after the Civil War) was no place for a woman to expect much justice from the domestic wrongdoing she had experienced.

So she continued her life with Mr. Dearien for 40 years and died at 64 in Timbo, near Mountain View, Arkansas in the fall of 1881. She is buried in Blue Mountain Cemetery in Timbo alongside her husband. Here is a link to her her online grave page. The picture above on the left is the headstone for L.L. Dearien (Liza Lucinda) and her husband A. M. Dearien (Augustus Marvin) in Blue Mountain Cemetery.

The story of Elizabeth Mitchell Dearien is a sobering reminder of how Mother's Day must be more than a sentimental celebration of charming women. It is also a remembrance of women who had a difficult time in life but endured remarkably despite the injustices that came their way. As we approach Mother's Day 2015, I suggest to you that Elizabeth Lucinda Mitchell Dearien is one such person, a remarkable mother who deserves remembering and celebrating.

William and Bura Shepard's 100th Anniversary. New this week on William and Bura Shepard's anniversary page is a musical-photo presentation of William Shepard and Bura Davis Shepard with family and friends over the years. Select this link to visit their Anniversary Page and view the new photo presentation. 
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Steve Shepard

The Good News From a Tragic Tale, Sept 16, 2014

You are no longer strangers and aliens,

but members of the household of God.

~Paul (Eph. 2.19)

In this post I want to follow up on my last two posts and share the good news from the sordid, tragic tale of an unwanted stepchild and her thoughtless parents. The only child of my GG Grandmother Roena Norton (1840-?) was Finetta Dearien Shannon (1861-1960). As unfairly as Roena and Finetta were treated by their own family, there was redemption in this unfortunate story.

Roena and Finetta, Part III. Roena's daughter Finetta was born March 14, 1861. In her infancy she suffered the loss of her young mother, probably at the hands of Finetta's father Augustus Dearien. Finetta was raised in the home of her father and her grandmother Elizabeth, in Sylmore Township, 10 miles west of Mountain View, Arkansas. This family appears in both the 1870 and 1880 US Census for Sylamore. The Census records also show the two biological children of Augustus and Elizabeth: David Dearien, born 1849, and Mary E. Dearien, born 1854.

In both Census records there are strong indications that the Deariens did not want to acknowledge their offspring Finetta as part of their family. Truth be told, Augustus and Elizabeth must have been in a quandry as to what to say about young Finetta, who was the daughter of Augustus' stepchild Roena Norton. In the 1870 Census 8 year old Finetta is listed as a Dearien, but her actual first name Finetta is not listed. Instead she is reported to have the first name Mitchell, which, interestingly, was Finetta's grandmother's maiden name. It is hard to decipher what was going on here. Were the Census takers simply mistaken, getting vague or misleading information from the family? One can certainly imagine the Deariens not being very forthcoming about this child of an abusive, incestuous stepfather.

10 years later, in 1880, the Deariens have to deal with those pesky Census takers again. This time the Deariens do report Finetta's actual first name, but they say that her last name is Mitchell. (This illustrates the problem with lying and deceiving -- it is hard to keep the story straight.) And, as I mentioned in my previous post, the Deariens don't claim the now 19 year old Finetta as their own, but report that she is just a "boarder" in their house, suggesting that she is not a member of their family.

Finetta received a bum deal in many ways in her early life. Fathered by her mother's stepfather, her mother was cruelly taken from her and disappeared when Finetta was just a baby. Then her parents refuse to claim her, giving her a various assortment of names and descriptions in a pathetic attempt to distance themselves from her. Today there are some legal protections for children treated so poorly, but in the hill country of mid-19th century Arkansas, children were often at the mercy of parents like the Deariens.

The Dramatic Change of 1881. After being treated so badly by her father and grandmother, who dealt with their own guilt and shame by refusing to claim her as their own, things changed dramatically for Finetta in 1881. At 19 years old Finetta and a 21 year old neighbor named Samuel Pickens Shannon claim each other. On January 14 they were united in marriage in Timbo, Arkansas. Finally she is free from a family that doesn't want her, and has a family where she belongs, a family of her own making, a family that she and Sam lovingly create.

Between 1882 and 1903 Sam and Finetta brought 9 children into the world, establishing a large household that reflected their honest, caring approach to life. My grandmother Nola Agnes Shannon (1903-2004) was the last of those 9 children. (See second picture, from around 1930, of young Nola Shannon Gower on the left next to mother Finetta and 2 other daughters).

I knew Nola for the last 56 years of her life. The way she spoke of her family of origin suggests that they were decent, loving people. They had their tough times, of course. Nola was always clear about that. But if my grandmother's comments were any indication, Sam and Finetta produced a family of love and respect. It was a far cry from the dysfunction of the home of Augustus and Elizabeth Dearien.

How did Finetta respond to the gross mistreatment of her and her mother Roena by their own family? In the best way she knew how. By creating a warm, loving, respectful family of her own, a family based on trust and honesty, not abuse and deception. For Finetta, there could be no greater act of redemption.

Elizabeth Mitchell Dearien, Finetta's grandmother who raised her, died October 3, 1881, 9 months after Sam and Finetta were married. See first picture (above) of the grave of A. M. (Augustus Marvin) Dearien and L.L. (Liza Lucinda) Dearien in Blue Mountain Cemetery, Timbo, Arkansas.

Elizabeth (Liza) did not live long enough to see the birth of Mary Ann Shannon, the firstborn child of Sam and Finetta in February, 1882. Augustus did however. He lived until 1900, and saw all but one of the 9 children of Sam and Finetta come into the world (see third picture from 1946 of Finetta Dearien Shannon, right, with oldest daughter Mary Ann Shannon Everidge, and grandson Earnest Everidge). The creation of a large, wholesome family was the best response that could be made to the cruel treatment of the Deariens. Surely the blood of Roena cries from the earth uttering sounds of satisfaction.
- - -
Steve Shepard

Without a Trace, Sept 9, 2014

No one escapes some degree of chaos... 

We can accept our state of chaos, 

lighten up on ourselves, have fun,

and work on improving… 

we are a work in progress. 

~David Earle 

Today is my birthday. As I reach 66, I am more grateful than ever before for the family I have. For my parents and my siblings, for my wife Cindy and our son Nathan, and for his wife and children who have been a blessing beyond compare. The first picture

shows me with our 3 grandchildren, Preslea, William and Logan Shepard. This picture was taken by Cindy just a couple of days ago.

This Friday, Sept 12, is the birthday of Kelly Shepard Sauvage, one of my 8 Texas nieces. My brother Gary has two daughters, two granddaughters, and one great granddaughter living in Weatherford, Texas or thereabouts. And my brother-by-another-mother Jerry Clark -- a Lubbock Texan himself -- has 3 daughters living in the Lone Star State. You can say it's a reach, but I say they are all my nieces. It's MY birthday and I'll reach if I want to.

So Happy Birthday to niece Kelly! She and husband James Sauvage, who have lived in Weatherford, Texas now for 14 years, are the proud parents of Nate and Kyle.

The second picture, taken this summer in San Antonio, shows Kelly with her boys Kyle and Nate.

The Story of Roena, Part 2. In my last post I mentioned some new information that I recently discovered about Kelly's GGG grandmother Roena Norton, a young woman whose stepfather was the father of Roena's only child Finetta Dearien Shannon. In this post I want to follow up with some more thoughts about Roena's life story.

Without a Trace. Roena disappeared without a trace after her daughter Finetta was born, while her stepfather Augustus Dearien has left quite an impressive genealogical footprint. He shows up in all the available Census records between 1850 and his death in 1900. There are military records to show he served in the Confederate Army during the Civil War. There are records of his marriage to my GGG grandmother Elizabeth Mitchell, then later in his life to another woman named Marilla McDonald. There are also federal documents to indicate he owned 120 acres that he homesteaded in Stone County, Arkansas. And you can visit online or in person Stone County's Blue Mountain Cemetery where he is buried. (See picture.) We know much about Augustus Dearien and the 86 years he lived.

In contrast, the historical record for Roena Norton, in Stone County, Arkansas or anywhere else, is stone silent. Family tradition has it that her stepfather Augustus Dearien was responsible for her disappearance without a trace after baby Finetta was born. But how did one get rid of an unwanted 21 year old stepdaughter in 1861 in the backwoods of the Ozark Mountains? Murder her? Send her off and make her change her name? Sell her like a slave to some out-of-town buyer? 

Augustus Dearien was born and raised in Amelia County, Virginia in a slave owning family. He knew well what it was like to treat people like merchandise. He may have even had some experience in getting rid of an unwanted family member.

A Hateful and Violent Time. Here's an interesting historical note: Almost 20 years after Roena's disappearance, the 1880 US Census lists Augustus Dearien and his wife Elizabeth (Roena's mother), along with Roena's daughter Finetta. It is to their credit that Finetta is even a part of their household. After all, about the only thing worse than being an unwanted stepchild, is being the illegitimate daughter of that unwanted stepchild. And that is what Finetta was. In the 1880 Census, she is not listed as a daughter or granddaughter. Instead they report that Finetta's last name is Mitchell, and that she is a "boarder" in their home. Even though she is Augustus' daughter (albeit illegitimately), and Elizabeth's biological granddaughter, they could not bring themselves to acknowledge her to the Census takers as their own kin. What kind of people were these? The way they viewed Roena's daughter Finetta gives us some insight into why they treated Roena as they did.

Another interesting historical note: The following information from the Encyclopedia of Arkansas History and Culture, gives us an indication of what it was like in Northern Arkansas at this time. Many men from Sylamore Township (where the Deariens lived), went to serve in the Confederate Army. But many others did not want to get involved. In 1862 a "Peace Society" was organized in Sylamore, made up of about 75 men who refused to serve on either side. The Confederate authorities arrived on the scene, took them all away in chains to Little Rock, and gave them the option of either serving for the Confederacy in the war or being shot. All but 2 chose to serve.

Roena and her family lived in a hateful and violent time when families and communities were torn apart. As unfair as it may have been, it seems likely that GG grandmother Roena, the unwanted stepchild, met a tragic end at just 21 years old. Used and abused by her stepfather, she disappeared without a trace and probably died not long after her daughter Finetta was born in 1861.

What exactly transpired we may never know. We can only hope that other historical data will turn up one day with clues as to what happened to this ill fated young woman Roena Norton. In my next post: some good news from this sordid, tragic tale. 
- - -
Steve Shepard

New Light On An Old Story, September 5, 2014

A family can be

the bane of one's existence.

A family can also be

most of the meaning

of one's existence.

~Keri Hulme

One of the more intriguing people in our family tree is Roena Norton, the grandmother of my grandmother Nola Shannon Gower. Here is a lineage from Roena's parents Andy and Elizabeth Norton to my grandson William Shepard, one of Roena's youngest descendants:

• Andy Norton (1820-?) married to Elizabeth Mitchell Norton (1820-?)
• Roena Norton (1840-?) who had Finetta by A. M. Dearien (1814-1900)
• Finetta Dearien Shannon (1861-1960) married to Samuel Shannon (1858-1930)
• Nola Shannon Gower (1903-2004) married to Leroy Gower (1899-1974)
• Maida Gower Shepard (b. 1924) married to Eugene Shepard (1921-2003)
• Steve Shepard (b. 1948) married to Cindy Harris Shepard (b. 1948)
• Nathan Shepard (b. 1977) married to Chenda Sou Shepard (b. 1980)
• William Q. Shepard (b. 2012)

The last 6 of the 8 consecutive generations listed above are pictured below. Unfortunately no pictures exist of either Roena or her parents. Starting in the upper left are William Shepard, Nathan Shepard, me, Maida Gower Shepard, Nola Shannon Gower and Finetta Dearien Shannon.

New Light On An Old Story. Roena's life story, and especially that of her daughter Finetta Dearien, I have mentioned numerous times in this blog. Their story is as tragic as it is complicated. The father of Roena's only child, Finetta, was her stepfather Augustus Dearien (1814-1900). For all the years I have been doing family research, my only source of information about Roena has been family tradition. Recently, however, it has come to light that she appears in the 1860 U.S Census, the first tangible historical evidence for her.

Part of the reason that this record has not been available before, is the fact that her name is listed as Roena Derrin. Her birth parents were Andy Norton and his wife Elizabeth Mitchell Norton. "Derrin" was not Roena's birth name, but a misspelling of the last name of her stepfather Augustus Dearien, who was her mother's second husband, and in whose household Roena spent much of her youth. 

There are numerous Arkansas records in which Augustus Dearien's name appears: Census records, Land Grant documents, military records, and his grave in Blue Mountain Cemetery in Timbo, Arkansas. In these records his last name is spelled various ways, including Dearen, Darien, Dearien, as well as Derrin. 

Because he fathered a child by his step daughter Roena, A.M. Dearien has become a despised person to many of his descendants. Ironically there are numerous records showing him in Stone County and elsewhere throughout his long life, while his step-daughter Roena Norton seems to have disappeared without a trace after she gave birth to Finetta in 1861. 

The Value of the 1860 Census. All this makes Roena's appearance in the 1860 U.S. Census records so valuable. They provide us with some important information about her. I had been under the impression that Roena was a school girl in her middle teens in March, 1861 when she gave birth to her daughter Finetta by her stepfather. In previous blog posts I have even written as much. But the 1860 Census lists her as 20 years old in September, 1860, meaning that she was 20 or 21 when her daughter Finetta was born.

The Census also shows that the Dearien's home was in the township of Richwoods, in the hills a few miles south of what would become Mountain View, Arkansas. In 1860 unincorporated Mountain View was little more than a busy crossroads populated by a few hundred hearty souls. The Richwoods township, a few miles from Mountain View, must have been very remote. 

The Census takers recorded that Augustus and Elizabeth Derrin (Dearien) had 3 children: 6 year old Mary Derrin, 11 year old David Derrin, and 20 year old Roena Derrin. Since we know that Finetta was born in March, 1861, Roena was 3 months pregnant at the time of the Census, September, 1860. It is possible that when the Census takers visited the home, the parents felt the need to "add a few years" to Roena's actual age because of her pregnancy. But this is speculation on my part, based on the fact that these were the remote backwoods of sparsely populated pre-Civil War Arkansas. Until such time as other reliable information turns up regarding the specifics of Roena, we should trust the accuracy of these Census records.

I will share more in my next post regarding Augustus Dearien, his step daughter Roena, and her disappearance without a trace.
- - -
Steve Shepard 

"Curiosity Never Killed This Cat", August 8, 2014

Curiosity never killed this cat.

~Studs Terkel

Hello family and friends and greetings to all of you from San Diego. A spirit of curiosity is essential in the effort to research family, hence the witty quote at the top of this page by the late Studs Terkel. At his request these words are found on his headstone. 

In my last post I shared some pictures of important family gatherings in diverse places, celebrating family events. This post will reflect that same thing with another picture of people gathered for an important family celebration, as well as some other celebrations, along with an historic 6 generation picture spread.

First of all though, I want to offer congratulations to two couples whose anniversaries were in the last few days.  Chris and Amanda Clark Farrell (Amanda is the daughter of Jerry Clark and Jane Clark Brock) were married August 6, 2006 and celebrated 8 years of marriage on Wednesday.

My niece Kelly Shepard Sauvage and her husband James were married August 5, 2000 and celebrated 14 years of marriage on Tuesday. Congratulations and best wishes to both couples!

Happy Birthday Heather. This Sunday, August 10, is the birthday of Heather Robson Cotten, daughter of Paula Tuzzolino and granddaughter of Vicki Gower Johnston. Heather, one of the 14 great grandchildren of Leroy and Nola Shannon Gower, lives in San Antonio, Texas with her husband Sean and daughters Victoria and Alexandria. This weekend, however, Heather is in Oak Harbor, Washington where she was raised and where she graduated from High School. She is visiting her mom Paula and her grandmother Vicki. 

The picture above, taken earlier this summer, shows Heather with her daughters Lexi and Tori. The image below is a 6 generation family picture. Not often in my family records can I find pictures like this which span six consecutive generations and over 150 years.  

The following is a list of the names and dates of those pictured:

• Victoria Cotten (b. 2007)
• Heather Robson Cotten (b. 1976)
• Paula Harrell Tuzzolino (b. 1951)
• Vicki Gower Johnston (b. 1933)
• Nola Shannon Gower (1903-2004)
• Finetta Dearien Shannon (1861-1960)

The genealogical note for this particular post concerns Finetta Dearien, the oldest person in the picture spread above. Her mother was Roena Norton, a young woman, possibly a teen, who became pregnant with Finetta by her step father Augustus Dearien. Finetta's embarassing birth lead to the disappearance of her young mother Roena sometime after 1861 when Finetta was born. What happened to Finetta's mother Roena is a mystery that may never be solved. But the search continues. Especially for those of us with the curious spirit of Studs Terkel. 

Happy Birthday Jeremy. This coming Tuesday, August 12, is the birthday of Jeremy Ortiz, one of the 21 great grandchildren of William and Bura Davis Shepard. Originally from Gallup, New Mexico, Jeremy spent many years in San Diego, but lives today in Blue Springs, Missouri where he is a manager of Pizza Hut. 

The picture above shows Jeremy (on the left in the blue cap) with his family. Far left is his grandmother Thelma Shepard Boyd; far right is his mother Kim Boyd Clark in front of her husband Jeff Clark. To the right of Jeremy is his wife Desiree, his San Diego cousin Kori Boyd, his brother-in-law Justin Davis, and his sister Amanda. Also in this picture are Jeremy and Desiree's 5 children: twins Dominic and Isaac, Ciara, Damian and Ashlyn. This family picture was taken last weekend at a restaurant in North Kansas City, Missouri.
- - -
Steve Shepard

Civil War Sesquicentennial: April 20, 2011

I have been sustained

by three saving graces - 

my family, my friends, and a faith

in the power of resilience and hope.

~Elizabeth Edwards

Hello Family and Friends,

Greetings to all of you from San Diego. This month of April marks the 150th anniversary of the beginning of the American Civil War. Ironically, this anniversary falls during the week that many Christians call Holy Week, with Easter this coming Sunday.

Numerous persons in our family tree were veterans of the Civil War, which continues to be of great interest to family researchers. One writer has said that more books have been written about the American Civil War than anything else in history, except the Bible. The 1860s was a time in history when many American families were forever changed, in ways that are still felt today. The following are just two instances of people in our family that were dramatically affected, stories that show "the power of resilience and hope".

1915 picture of my Grandfather,
William Shepard (1888-1976)

A Family Disconnected. I have written several times in this blog about my GGgrandfather, Civil War soldier William Shepard (1835-1862) of Wabash, Indiana. (See first picture from 1915, of the soldier William Shepard's grandson, MY grandfather, also named William Shepard.)

What you may not know is that William from Wabash enlisted in the Union Army September 12, 1861 and served in the 41st Regiment (Indiana Second Cavalry), and began his active service in December, 1861 in Indianapolis. His regiment spent the early winter near Louisville, Kentucky, and in February joined with General Buell's army and moved further south to Nashville, Tenn. Meanwhile, back home in Wabash, on February 2, 1862, his wife gave birth to a son, William Elmer Shepard.

Battle of Shiloh, April, 1862

During April and May of 1862 William Shepard's unit was part of fierce battles that took place at Shiloh, Corinth, Pea Ridge, and Tuscumbia in the area around Southern Tennessee. During one of these engagements, he was injured. An old family legend has it that his arm was shot off in a cannon blast. Whatever the actual injury, and wherever it actually occurred, William was hospitalized in Evansville, Indiana. Then on July 21, 1862, just 10 months after enlisting, he died of Typhoid Fever during his hospital stay, and was laid to rest in the Oak Hill Cemetery in Evansville.

As expected, in time the widow Shepard remarried. When her war baby William Elmer became a teen he found himself engaged in his own conflict, this one with his step-father. As a result, sometime in the 1870s William Elmer ran away from home, first to Illinois where he eventually married into the Owens family of Madison County, and then, later in life, to Beaver County, Oklahoma, where he died Feb, 1915. After leaving Indiana as a teen, he was disconnected from his birth family for the rest of his life. That war-related family conflict must have left painful scars not only for William Elmer, but for the Indiana family he left behind. It has also has made it very difficult today to discover our Shepard roots.

Another family related Civil War story. Just one month before the start of the Civil War, my GGGgrandmother Roena Norton gave birth to a baby girl in a small town in the Ozark mountains of Arkansas. Roena was an unmarried teenage girl who disappeared under mysterious circumstances not long after her daughter Finetta was born.

A family legend has it that Roena's step-father David Dearien was responsible for Finetta's birth, and for the subsequent disappearance of his step daughter Roena. These sad events occurred in the early months of the Civil War, which was a dangerous time of rogue lawlessness. I can't help but wonder if the war time atmosphere in Northern Arkansas made Roena's disappearance a lot easier to accomplish, and to remain an unsolved mystery.

The third picture, from the 1940s, shows Finetta Clementine (Dearien) Shannon, Roena's baby girl, much later in life. Behind her is Finetta's youngest daughter, my grandmother, Nola Shannon Gower.

Family Reunion. The above stories are about 2 War-time babies who suffered tragic disconnection from their parents, which makes our connections and reunions today all the more poignant. Our 2011 Shepard Family reunion in Anacortes, Washington is just four months away. Select this link for details. We are hoping that many Shepards and Gowers and Davises and Boyds and other related family members will attend.

Are there other family reunions being planned for members of related families? The Kilpatricks used to have a big family reunion every couple of years, but I have not heard of any events in recent years. If any of you have information about upcoming family gatherings, please pass the word.

---

Steve

Only the Good Die Young

Only the good die young.
~old saying

Dear Shepard Family and Friends,

If the old saying is true that "Only the good die young", then we have had some very good people in our family. Among them would be Manuel Aquiningoc, a young man of Guamanian descent, who married into our family in 1990.

18 years ago this month, at the age of 30, Manuel died in San Diego. Today would have been his 49th birthday. The tragedy began when he was arrested one evening at his home. The next morning he was found dead in his jail cell. He left behind a young wife, Kerri Shepard Aquiningoc, a 1 year old daughter Lyndsey, and another child on the way, who would be named Mandi. (The picture above shows Manuel, Kerri and baby Lyndsey in 1992.) Manuel's death was a tragedy, and a blow to his family that was very difficult to deal with, especially by those closest to him.

Like many people in our family who have found themselves having to deal with a tragic situation, Kerri, Lyndsey and Mandi have done their best to make the most of life in the last 18 years. Their most recent celebration was Mandi's graduation from High School last month. The picture below, taken last month, shows Lyndsey and Mandi Aquiningoc with their Shepard grandfather Gary.

The fact of the matter is that our family has had to endure other very difficult deaths of young folks. In the 1970s we endured the deaths of Linda Shepard (20) and Bev Russell (35), and then later in the 1990s, the death of Karl Wilk (27) -- 2 grandchildren and a Ggrandchild of Will and Bura Shepard. Also in the 1970s my wife Cindy endured the untimely deaths of two of her cousins in their 20s, Gloria and Chuck Eeds. Whenever a young person's life is cut short, it is especially painful.

Other young members of our family have died in generations past. Their deaths must have hurt their loved ones as much as those that we have experienced. 

• In 1862 my GGgrandfather William Shepard died at 27 in the Civil War, leaving a wife and an infant child. 
• In 1863 Caroline Williams Spear, my GGgrandfather Spear's first wife, died at 23 in childbirth and left a daughter. 
• Then in 1861 there was the apparent murder of my GGgrandmother Roena Norton when she was just a teenager. It happened at the hands of her stepfather, who had molested her first.

These episodes in our family history are not easy to write about. Some of them are shocking, others are heartbreaking. But they are all part of the story of who we are. They remind us of how fragile and difficult life can be. But most of all they help us see that the most important thing is not what life gives us, but what we make of it. It is heartwarming to see that Kerri and Lyndsey and Mandi are making the most of theirs.
- - -
Steve

Shepard Family Update January 22, 2010

Life is what you make it.

Always has been,

always will be.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Hello Shepard Family and Friends,

Greetings to all of you from soggy San Diego. Winter has finally hit us hard with a rainstorm that has given us a good soaking this week. This kind of thing happens so seldom I would find it something of a novelty, were it not for those who are suffering hardship from the flooding.

My Mother's Mother's Mother; my Father's Father's Father. One of the more interesting stories I have discovered in researching our family's history concerns my mother's mother's mother, a woman by the name of Finetta Clementine Dearien. One of the most interesting things about her story is how similar it is to the life story of William Elmer Shepard, my father's father's father. 

When you think about it just a bit you realize that one's father's father's father is all the way across the family tree from one's mother's mother's mother. (Are you keeping up with me here?) But in this particular instance Finetta and William had a lot in common, even though their family paths did not cross until two generations down the road. Finetta and William were born within months of each other, during the American Civil War, a time of widespread death, anguish and lawlessness. They were both mid-Americans -- one an Indianan, the other an Arkansan. And both were born under heartbreaking circumstances.

I have shared before about the life of William Elmer Shepard, and will share some more about him next week, just before the occasion of his birthday. Today I would like to share with you about Finetta.

O My Darlin'. Finetta Clementine Dearien was born in the late winter of 1861 in Mountain View, Arkansas. Her unfortunate mother was a school girl named Roena Norton, whose stepfather David Dearien had molested her, resulting in the birth of Finetta. During Roena's pregnancy, he kept his stepdaughter from public view, refusing even to let her attend school. To make matters worse, after Finetta was born, out of shame he caused her mother Roena to disappear. One version of the family story is that he got her hopelessly lost in one of the caves near Mountain View, where she perished. Another version is that he simply took her away in a horse drawn wagon to some unknown fate. In either case, after she had given birth to Finetta, Roena was never seen or heard from again by any of her family. Another family story has it that the stepfather never admitted to fathering Finetta until on his death bed in 1900. By that time Finetta was 39 years old, married, and had borne 8 children of her own.

Finetta was raised by her loving but surely heartbroken grandmother Elizabeth Mitchell Dearien, and lived her entire life in and around the small town of Mountain View. Finetta actually made a decent life for herself, marrying a fine man named Samuel Pickens Shannon. (See first picture from about 1920 showing Samuel and Finetta.) Together they had a total of 9 children, the youngest being Nola Shannon Gower, my mother's mother (who we laid to rest in San Diego, just over 5 years ago at age 103).

And the Two Shall Become One. During World War II, just about the time Finetta was celebrating her 80th birthday, one of her granddaughters, Maida Gower, met Eugene Shepard here in San Diego. And with that relationship, and ensuing marriage, the connection was made between the family lines of my mother's mother's mother and my father's father's father.

Finetta died in 1960, three months short of her 100th birthday, and is buried in Timbo, Arkansas. This past summer my mother Maida went to visit her grandmother Finetta's grave outside Mountain View. She rests in an isolated graveyard which is difficult to access. In an interesting twist of fate, her grave is kept out of public view most of the time, just like Finetta's ill-fated young mother so many years ago.

Much of what I know of Finetta, I was told by my grandmother, Nola Shannon Gower, over 30 years ago. (See picture of Maida Gower Shepard and her mother Nola Shannon Gower, at Nola's 100th birthday celebration.)

Finetta's origins are unfortunate to be sure, the full facts of which will probably never be known. Truth be told, however, this was probably not the first time in our family a child was born under such dubious circumstances. For certain it was not the last. But surely her story is worth telling for more than the sordid events surrounding her birth. What do you make of it?

She causes me to ponder how pervasive domestic violence has been and continues to be in many families. How critical it is for us to create family relationships of love and mutual respect, rather than self interest and intimidation. But more than anything, Finetta is a poignant reminder that the best life is not the one that is given to us, but the life we make for ourselves.
- - -
Steve