Friday, June 26, 2015

Celebrants Over A Century Apart, June 26, 2015

If you as parents cut corners,
your children will too.
If you lie, they will too.
If parents snicker at racial and gender jokes,
another generation will pass on the poison.
~Marian Wright Edelman


Kyle Christian Sauvage. Today is Kyle Sauvage's 11th Birthday. Kyle, who lives in Weatherford, Texas, is the younger son of James Sauvage and Kelly Shepard Sauvage. He is the grandson of my brother Gary Shepard and Jackie Enderle Perry. He is also one of the Great Great Grandsons of Leroy and Nola Gower, and William and Bura Shepard.


This first picture shows Kyle holding a certificate he received from a basketball camp he attended earlier this month in Weatherford, Texas.

Elvira Owens Shepard (1865-1931). This coming Wednesday, July 1, is the birthday of Elvira Owens Shepard, the Great Great Great Grandmother of the aforementioned Kyle Sauvage. It was exactly 150 years ago, just as the Civil War was concluding, that she was born in the small community of New Douglas in far north east corner of Madison County, Illinois, 40 miles east of Saint Louis, Missouri.

Historical Note One: The day before Elvira Owens was born, the 4 conspirators in the assassination of President Lincoln, including Mary Surratt, were convicted by a military tribunal, and were hung just a few days later in Washington, D.C. Mary Surratt was the first woman ever sentenced to death by the Federal Government.

In the early 1880s, when just a young woman, Elvira met a young Hoosier vagabond who had recently wandered into town, by the name of William Elmer Shepard. His father had died in the war and he had run off from his home in Indiana to find a new life "out west" which turned out to be Madison County, Illinois. When Elvira and William met, it was the attraction of opposites: he was a wanderer, estranged from his family, unconnected to the community of his birth; she was a local girl from a strong, stable family, well connected to her community. They married in 1886 in Madison County and lived there for the next 20 years, bringing two children, William and Sadie, into the world.

About 1905 Elvira and husband William, with their 2 children, moved 700 miles westward, probably at the urging of the restless William Elmer. They settled in Beaver County, Oklahoma where William and Elvira lived for the rest of their lives. She is buried in Beaver County's Sophia Cemetery, alongside her first husband William Elmer Shepard and her late-in-life second husband Cal Williams.



This second picture (click on it for a larger view) shows a rather ragtag family group and was taken in Beaver County, Oklahoma about 1930. Starting from the far left, the second person (white hair, big smile) is Elvira Owens Shepard. (85 years later her GGG Grandson Kyle has a surprisingly similar smile.) To the right of Elvira is her daughter-in-law Bura Davis Shepard, then Bura's parents James Brooks Davis and Caroline Spear Davis. The tall fellow in the center in back is Lawrence Davis. On the far right looking dapper in a big stetson is Cal Williams (Elvira's second husband) and to the left of him (looking much less dapper in overalls) is my grandfather William Shepard (Elvira's son).

Elvira Owens represents the first generations of Americans in the newly re-United States of America of the late 1860s and beyond. Hers was the first generation that struggled to find the meaning of this American life without the evil of slavery. It was a time of reconstruction, with new opportunities, new prosperity, great social change and the ever growing westward movement.

Elvira also represents our connection to the Owenses of Madison County, Illinois. My grandfather William Shepard was born in Madison County and spent the first 16 or 17 years of his life there, the older child of Elvira and William Elmer. Granddad's only extended family was his mother's Owens family and he must have identified strongly with them throughout his early life and teen years. There are still extended Owens family members in Madison County today, as well as numerous Owens family members elsewhere around the U.S., some of whom are readers of this blog. We are fortunate to be related to them.

Historical Note Two: When Elvira died in 1931, there was a controvery over who should inherit her estate, her children or her second husband Cal Williams. The picture above from 1930 shows what appears to be a happy family gathering, but within a year or so of this picture being taken, the family splintered over the inheritance issue. It became very contentious and the matter was not settled until 1937, 6 years after Elvira's death, by the Oklahoma Supreme Court who ruled in favor of her second husband, the dapper Cal Williams. Select this link for a summary of that historic case.

The following is a lineage that includes Elvira Owens and her Great Great Great Grandson, Kyle Sauvage, whose birthdays are this week.
  • Edmond Owens Jr., (1795-1864) who married Anna Phelps (1787-1861)
  • Peyton Owens (1826-1872) who married Mary Wheeler (1825-1871)
  • Elvira Owens (1865-1931) who married William Elmer Shepard (1862-1915)
  • William Shepard (1888-1976) who married Bura Davis (1896-1986)
  • Eugene Shepard (1921-2003) who married Maida Gower (b. 1924)
  • Gary Shepard (b. 1946) who married Cindy Dillon (b. 1954)
  • Kelly Shepard (b. 1973) who married James Sauvage (b. 1971)
  • Kyle Sauvage (b. 2004)
- - -
Steve Shepard

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Happy Father's Day, June 20, 2015

My father gave me the greatest gift
anyone could give another person.
He believed in me.
~Jim Valvano

Tomorrow, June 21, is the anniversary of our son and daughter-in-law, Nathan and Chenda Sou Shepard, who were married on June 21, 2009. On that day 6 years ago Father's Day, their anniversary, and the Summer Solstice all occurred on June 21, a rare occurrance that happens again this year. Nate and Chenda live in San Diego with their 3 children Preslea, Logan and William. Happy Anniversary to Nate and Chenda!

This first picture shows Nate and Chenda at their home on Dicenza Way here in San Diego. 

Tomorrow is also the day we honor all father's in our midst. And we remember those fathers who have gone before us. I want to mention two in particular: my grandfather Leroy Gower and my brother in law Joe Paul Harris. Though they have been gone for many years, these two are remembered warmly by those who knew them as father and grandfather.


Leroy Gower (1899-1974) was a turn of the century baby, born June 25, 1899. Originally from a small farming family, he was born 116 years ago near Mountain View, Arkansas. He and his wife-to-be Nola Shannon were from the same small farming community west of Mountain View and probably knew each other as children. When they married in Arkansas she was a teenager and he was just 22 years old. 

After just a few married years -- and the birth of their first two children -- he and Nola moved westward and settled in Okemah, Oklahoma. After 17 years there they moved on to San Diego where they lived most of the rest of their lives. Leroy (and Nola) had the rich opportunity to live in fairly close proximity to their 3 children and their 12 grandchildren in San Diego as they watched them grow to adulthood. 

The above picture of Leroy was taken in 1973 -- just a year before he died -- on the occasion of an unknown funeral at the Little Chapel of the Roses in Glen Abbey Cemetery in Chula Vista, California. Do any of you know who the funeral was for? It was a service attended by several Gower and Shepard family members. Leroy looks to be holding his great granddaughter Kelly Shepard.

Joe Paul Harris (1950-2009). On this weekend of Father's Day, I am also remembering Joe Paul Harris, my wife Cindy's brother, who was a midcentury baby, born June 23, 1950, 65 years ago this coming Tuesday. He died in the spring of 2009 in Naknek, Alaska where he had lived the last 20 years of his life. He and his wife Jane raised their 3 children in San Diego. This picture of Joe Paul shows him with his father Joe Harris and his first born child, Cadence Harris Martin, in 1975. 

Also On This Weekend.  In celebration of the above mentioned men, and all the fathers in our extended family, I offer the following updated Father's Day presentation with music by Michael Buble, which honors fathers in our family through the years.



                                


- - - 
Steve Shepard

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Our Sincerest Laughter, June 13, 2015

We look before and after,
And pine for what is not:
Our sincerest laughter
With some pain is fraught;
~Percy Bysshe Shelley

Kambree BowmanTomorrow is the 2nd birthday of one of the younger members of our extended family: Kambree Kay Bowman of Millsap, Texas. She is the daughter of Mandi Aquiningoc and the granddaughter of Kerri Shepard Aquiningoc. Kambree has the distinction of being the first of the Great Great Great Grandchildren of both William and Bura Shepard, and Leroy and Nola Gower.




Scott Ortiz. Today is the birthday of Scott Ortiz of San Diego. Scott is the younger son of Kim Boyd Clark and Grandson of Thelma Shepard Boyd. This second picture shows Scott with his mother Kim and was taken earlier this year in San Diego.

Reminder: Family Reunion, August 22, 2015, Bothell Washington. This third picture was taken at a family reunion 28 years ago at El Monte Park, just outside San Diego. In this picture are Nathan Shepard (left), Jason Shepard, Scott Ortiz (in the swing) and Kelly Shepard. Thanks to Kim Clark for this picture.



- - -
Steve Shepard

Saturday, June 06, 2015

Beauty in the Differences, June 6, 2015

Beauty is in the differences,
like the different notes of a chord of music,
each note with its own integrity —
together spilling out into the air
in clusters of intense harmony.
~Patricia Adams Farmer

Emma Beverly Jean Wilk. Today, June 6, is the 10th birthday of Emma Beverly Jean Wilk. She is the 7th of the 18 Great Great Grandchildren of William and Bura Davis Shepard. She and her mom Shannon Wilk live in Atchison, Kansas. Emma is the only granddaughter of the late Phillip Wilk (1935-2007) and Beverly Russell Wilk (1936-1974).

Shannon: Hi there! Emma IS growing fast. Too fast for me. She is very excited. She was bit by a dog a few days ago. No stitches. Just got scared. We've been doing okay. Although my health hasn't been good. I have another surgery coming up. Could use some prayers. Other than that we are good. Papa Frank is still kicking and stubborn as ever! The weather has been great here. But the hot humid stuff will be here soon enough. Hope you are all doing good


James Brooks Davis. This past Tuesday, June 2, was the 145th Birthday of my Great Grandfather James Brooks Davis (1870-1928).

With all the falderol of my last post regarding the 100th Anniversary of William and Bura Davis, I did not mention that they were married on the 45th birthday of Bura's father James Brooks Davis. He is a significant person in our family history, being the one who picked up his young family of 9 in 1913 and moved them from Indiana to Beaver County, Oklahoma. 



My grandmother Bura, 16 years old at the time of their move, was the oldest of the 7 children. She had the tremendous responsibility of helping her parents watch over her 6 siblings (ages 5-15), plus her mother's special needs brother Clayton Spear, who also made the move with them. It is very understandable that within 2 short years of arriving in Beaver County, Oklahoma, Bura had met country neighbor William Shepard and was ready to marry him and get out on her own.

This second picture shows Beverly Russell, the grandmother of Emma Wilk, pictured above. Beverly is shown here (lower right) next to her brother Rex, in front of her parents Bill Russell and Pauline Shepard Russell. This family picture was taken in San Diego, probably about 1945. I am not sure why these folks look so stern. I remember them as being happy, pleasant people. Is that a sign for a dentist office in the window behind them? Perhaps that explains their demeanor. 

A final thought. After using the word "falderol" in a previous paragraph I decided to look it up just to make sure I was using the right word. Here are some Merriam-Webster Dictionary synonyms for falderol: "balderdash, baloney, blather, blither, bull, claptrap, codswallop and crapola." Turns out it is a much more meaningful (and colorful) word than I ever anticipated!

Family Reunion August 22, 2015. Don't forget that our next Family Reunion will be Saturday, August 22, 2015 in Bothell, Washington at the home of my nephew Patrick Shepard and his wife Nicole.

- - -
Steve Shepard

Tuesday, June 02, 2015

A 100th Wedding Anniversary, June 2, 2015

Celebrating
William Shepard and Bura Davis Shepard
On the Occasion of Their 
100th Wedding Anniversary

A Century Ago. 100 years ago, on June 2, 1915, my grandparents William Shepard (1888-1976) and Bura Emerald Davis (1896-1986) were married in Beaver County, Oklahoma. 

William and Bura, 1974
In this blog post I want to honor them and celebrate their life, their marriage, and their living legacy. Though William has been gone for 39 years, and Bura for 29 years, we remember them still.

An Historic Recording of William Shepard. The following photo presentation includes an actual recording from 40 years ago -- in 1975 -- when William Shepard was interviewed by John Banks, the minister of the El Cajon Boulevard Church of Christ in San Diego. In this interview William, with Bura close by, describes what it was like the day the two of them were married. (If you have trouble viewing or hearing this presentation on a mobile device, please try it on a desktop computer.)


                                        


A Clan of 87. Over the last century, Will and Bura's marriage has lead to the creation of a large family which includes...
  • 4 children (pictured below with William and Bura) 
  • 12 Grandchildren, 
  • 21 Great Grandchildren, 
  • 15 Great Great Grandchildren, 
  • and 2 Great Great Great Grandchildren. 
That is a total of 54 direct descendants who have been born to them over the last century, better than 1 birth every other year for 100 years. Add to that total the 31 men and women who have married into their family over the years, and you have a clan of 87 individuals. 
William, Bura and Children Eugene, Thelma, Pauline and Elmer

73 of those 87 people are still around today, and range in age from 5 months old to 90 years old. They are scattered around the Western United States in San Diego, Northern California, Utah, Washington, Oklahoma, Texas, Kansas and Missouri. Just to the right of this post on the main page of The Shepard's Crook are pictures of 9 of the youngest of those 73 descendants of Will and Bura. Scattered throughout the various posts of this blog are pictures and stories of every single one of their descendants.

Here's an interesting note: Of those 73 descendants who are alive today, 32 were born since William Shepard died in 1976. That means that close to half of the descendants of William and Bura who are alive today never had the opportunity to meet William or Bura. Those of us who are fortunate enough to have known them were touched by their lives in a wide variety of ways. The memories we have of them are numerous and varied; the gratitude we feel is immense; the debt we owe to them is beyond measure.

William and Bura Through The Years: a Collage of Images and Sound. The following musical photo presentation shows a variety of images of William and Bura Davis Shepard and their family. Some of the same pictures are included in the presentation above. This one, however, does not include the 1975 recorded interview. Instead it shares a wider variety of family pictures from 1914 through the 1980s. (If you have trouble viewing or hearing this presentation on a mobile device, please try viewing it on a desktop computer.)

                                        

For More Information. Here are some links to other informative blog posts regarding Will and Bura's wedding on June 2, 1915:
Whether you are a descendant of theirs, a family friend, a relative, or are connected to them in some other way, be a part of this online Wedding Anniversary Celebration. If you have suggestions about how we might expand this page honoring them, please let me know.
Greenwood Cemetery, San Diego

What Say You? At the bottom of this post is a place where you can leave some comments. Your comments may be just a sentence or two, or perhaps longer. I invite you to leave some thoughts regarding this 100th Wedding Anniversary Celebration. You can respond to one of the following questions, or comment however you would like.
  • What is your favorite memory of William and Bura Shepard?
  • What important life lessons did you receive from them?
  • What was the most important thing about them?
  • What special moments did you share with them?
  • How did they impact your life?
  • How is your life different today for having been touched by their lives?
Click on "post a comment" below to leave your thoughts, memories, reflections, or words of gratitude for the late William and Bura Davis Shepard. Let's make their 100th Wedding Anniversary worthy of their life and legacy!
- - -
Steve Shepard

Friday, May 29, 2015

Spring Time Celebrations! May 29, 2015


The only thing sweeter than union is reunion.
~Kathleen McGowan

Family Reunion in August. Don't forget to make your plans for our Family Reunion this summer on August 22, 2015 at the home of Patrick and Nicole Haw Shepard of Bothell, Washington, a suburb of Seattle. Watch future posts of this blog for more information about the reunion.

Mike Harrell. Today, May 29, is the birthday of my cousin Mike Harrell of Zionsville, Indiana. Mike and his wife Carole have lived in Indiana since moving there from Northern California a couple of years ago. Mike, originally from San Diego, is the son of Vicky Gower Johnston of Oak Harbor, Washington. Mike is the 9th of the 12 grandchildren of Leroy and Nola Shannon Gower to reach that special milestone of 60. 

The first picture shows Indianapolis Colts fans Mike Harrell on the left. The lovely eyes on the right belong to Mike's wife Carole, also a big time Colts fan. Best wishes to Mike for a great birthday!

Jeremy and Desiree Ortiz. This coming Monday, June 1, is the anniversary of Jeremy and Desiree Ortiz of San Diego. Jeremy is the grandson of Thelma Shepard Boyd and the son of Kim Boyd Clark. Jeremy and Desiree are the parents of 5 wonderful children. Together they make up the largest single family among us. Congratulations and best wishes to Jeremy and Desiree for a wonderful 13th wedding anniversary!

The second picture shows anniversary celebrants Jeremy on the right with his wife Desiree in front of him. Next to them is mom Kim Boyd Clark, and on the far left is grandmother Thelma Shepard Boyd. This picture was taken a few months ago when the family was all together in San Diego visiting the Point Loma Tide Pools.


Gary and Cindy Shepard. This coming Tuesday, June 2 is the 36th wedding annversary of my brother Gary Shepard and his wife Cindy Dillon Shepard. They have lived in Western Washington, in the Whidbey Island town of Oak Harbor now for over 10 years. They are both originally from Southern California, where they lived until moving to Washington. Best wishes to Gary and Cindy on 36 years of married life. 

The third picture shows Gary and Cindy in a picture taken back in 1987 when they were on vacation in Northern California in the historic goldrush town of Columbia. With them in their nephew Nathan Shepard. Best wishes to Gary and Cindy for a wonderful anniversary and many more to come!

This coming Tuesday is also the anniversary of my grandparents William Shepard and Bura Davis Shepard. I will write more about them in my next post as we celebrate their 100th Wedding Anniversary.
- - -
Steve Shepard

Friday, May 22, 2015

70 Years Ago, May 22, 2015

For it was not into my ear you whispered,
but into my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed,
but my soul.
~Judy Garland

70 years ago.  Happy Memorial Day weekend to all of you! 70 Memorial Day weekends ago was a fascinating time in the life of our nation and in the lives of our ancestors. The spring of 1945 was an extremely critical moment in world history. World War II had been raging for several years, but we were beginning to get the upper hand. On the last day of April, 1945, Adolf Hitler died. A week later V-E day (Victory in Europe) occurred and the successful campaign there was drawing to a close. In 3 months atomic bombs would fall on Japan with death and destruction the likes of which humankind had never seen before. Japanese unconditional surrender would soon follow. It was a time for optimism but still a time of great uncertainty, as Americans regrouped after the war, mourning the loss of American soldiers who died in the conflict, a number that would reach over 400,000.


In the midst of all that, on May 24, 1945 -- exactly 70 years ago this Sunday -- my parents Maida Gower and Eugene Shepard, were married. Dad was still in the Navy, stationed in Los Alamitos, California, 100 miles up the road from San Diego, where the Shepards and the Gowers lived. Gene and Maida had met at the El Cajon Blvd Church of Christ, just a stone's throw from where Maida's family lived on Arizona Street in San Diego. After many months of a long distance romance, Gene and Maida were married on a Thursday, in the minister's residence behind the church.

The first picture was taken in San Diego, probably in 1945 soon after they were married. Dad is still in uniform with a wedding ring on his finger, and mom is not showing yet with her first child, born the following March.

In December, 1945, after their wedding in May, Gene was released from military duty and he moved to San Diego to live with his bride fulltime. Their first child Gary was born in the spring of 1946, followed by 5 other children born in San Diego over the ensuing 16 years. They established their home in San Diego until 1978 when Gene retired and they moved to Washington state. He died there in the summer of 2003 in Anacortes, Washington, which is where Maida still lives today. Their descendants now number a few dozen and are scattered around Western Washington, North Texas, and San Diego. 

It was a simple wedding ceremony in that parsonage 70 years ago, but their love is still remembered today. Their legacy is a strong one and is celebrated this weekend by all of us who are their family. Thanks to Maida and Gene for their love, their devotion and their lasting witness to the power of Christian love and family affection.

Speaking of Wedding Anniversaries, June 2, 2015 will mark 100 years exactly since my grandparents William Shepard and Bura Davis were married. If you have not yet visited the anniversary page telling about them and honoring them, you can do so by selecting this link.  

"What's a matta you... Why you look so sad?" I was asked recently why our ancestors did not smile much when their pictures were taken. It is a good question. And it is true - many of our ancestors did not smile much when in front of the camera. Were they not very happy? Were they intimidated by the camera? Were the problems of their lives so bad that they could not bring themselves to offer a happy countenance? 


What do you think? I would appreciate your feedback and thoughts on this. Especially from those of you who knew family members from a generation or two ago, like my grandparents Leroy and Nola Gower, and William and Bura Shepard. Many of the pictures we have of them show them with very stoic looks on their faces -- in particular pictures from the early part of the 20th century. 

This second picture is a good example. It shows Leroy and Nola Shannon Gower in 1926 probably in Okemah, Oklahoma. With them are their first two children Hendrix and Maida. Leroy and Nola are very dour, showing nothing close to a smile, especially Nola who appears to be frowning.

The boy Hendrix seems totally non-plussed, while Maida has something of an evil little smile on her face. It appears that she was the only one in this small family group who was enjoying the moment, or making any positive connection with the photographer. 

Compare the two pictures in this post. In the first one Maida and Eugene are young adults in their early 20s, nearly the same age as Maida's parents in the second picture. The two pictures were taken only 19 years apart, with smiles for the camera being much easier to come by in 1945 than in 1926. But that reflected the times: in 1926 we were working ourselves toward the great depression; in 1945 we were moving into the post-war period of peace and prosperity.

Even so, I know for a fact that my Shepard and Gower grandparents were not unhappy people. They had a sense of humor, they could laugh and have a good time. Why then, when they found themselves in front of a camera, did they often have straight faces, somber looks, serious demeanors? 

In the early years of the 20th century, photography was still fairly new and was serious business. Photographers were often professionals and the picture taking moment called for a formal countenance. In addition to that, our forefathers and foremothers lived through some hard times. They were poor farming families in many instances. They endured a lot. Smiles and laughter did not always come easy for them, especially in front of a camera.

These days, with the proliferation of smart phones with cameras, pictures can be taken anywhere at anytime. Photography happens constantly, it seems, and we hardly think twice about it. What a difference from the time in which our forefathers and foremothers lived!
- - - 
Steve Shepard

Thursday, May 14, 2015

A Wealth of Celebrations! May 14, 2015

The year you were born
marks only your entry into the world. 
Other years where you prove your worth,
they are the ones worth celebrating. 
~Jarod Kintz

Tomorrow is the birthday of our grandson Logan A. Shepard of San Diego (not to be confused with his second cousin Logan J. Shepard, of Bothell, Washington). San Diego Logan is the middle child of Nathan and Chenda Shepard and the brother of Preslea and William. He is also the 7th Great Grandchild of Maida Gower Shepard. And he is one of the Great Great Grandchildren of William and Bura Shepard and Leroy and Nola Shannon Gower.

The following is a photo presentation celebrating Logan's 4th birthday tomorrow!


                                   

Speaking of the late William and Bura Shepard, have I mentioned that their 100th Wedding Anniversary is coming up June 2? The webpage honoring them on this 100th anniversary continues to have information added to it as the weeks go by. You can visit it now to honor Will and Bura and to celebrate this special milestone.

Today is the birthday of Christopher Shepard, also of the Seattle, Washington area, and uncle of the aforementioned Logan J. Shepard. 

This day also marks the birthday of Thelma Shepard of Blue Springs, Missouri and Thelma's grand daughter Courtney Boyd of San Diego.

In addition, on Monday of this week Jacinta Shepard (New Castle, Oklahoma) and Nicole Haw Shepard (Bothell, Washington) had birthdays. Later this week Darren Boyd (San Diego), Ashlyn Ortiz (San Diego), Jason Shepard (Weather- ford, Texas), and the late Elmer Shepard will all turn the page on one more year. 

A wealth of celebrations! Included is a collage of all those with birthdays in our family this week.

This is the most intensive birthday time in the entire year for our extended family: 10 birthdays in a 10 day period (May 11-20).  Happy Birthday to all of them!
- - -
Steve Shepard

Saturday, May 09, 2015

Happy Mother's Day Tomorrow! May 9, 2015

Acceptance, tolerance, bravery, compassion.
These are the things my mom taught me.
~Lady Gaga

Happy Mother's Day tomorrow to all those in our family who are mothers and who deserve our utmost respect and gratitude!


There are two women in our family who will be celebrating the day as mothers for the very first time. Lyndsey Aquiningoc of Weatherford, Texas will be celebrating the day tomorrow with her son Karver who is just 8 months old. And Rachel Shepard of Bothell, Washington will be celebrating her first Mother's Day with her son Kellan, also 8 months old. In addition, best wishes to Nicole Shepard, also of Bothell, Washington. She will be celebrating Mother's Day with her and husband Patrick's two sons, Logan and Mason. Mason was just born in December of last year.

On the other end of the spectrum, Happy Mother's Day to my mom, Maida Shepard of Anacortes, Washington. She is the Great Grandmother of two of the babies mentioned in the previous paragraph, and the Great Great Grandmother of the other one. Tomorrow will be the 69th time she has celebrated Mother's Day!

May all the Mother's Day celebrations around our family -- wherever they may occur -- be filled with great joy! The following is an updated Mother's Day presentation, offered in celebration of all the mothers in our family.


                                  

- - -
Steve Shepard

Tuesday, May 05, 2015

Living Well Is the Best Revenge, May 5, 2015

Living well is the best revenge.
~George Herbert

Shepard Family Reunion 2015. A family reunion is being planned for this summer on Saturday, August 22 at the home of Patrick and Nicole Shepard in the Seattle suburb of Bothell, Washington. All family and friends are invited to attend. More details will be forthcoming as the date draws near.

One Remarkable Mother. During this week leading up to Mother's Day I would like to feature a person in our family's past whose was a remarkable mother. She was not remarkable because of her grace or beauty, her charm or her ability to embody the best qualities of motherhood as we understand it today. I don't know her well enough to say any of those things about her with any certainty. I consider her a remarkable woman because of what we DO know about her, which is significant, even though she lived her entire life in the 19th century.


Her name was Elizabeth (Liza) Lucinda Mitchell, and she was the Great Grandmother of my Grandmother Nola Shannon Gower. Here is her lineage:
  • Elizabeth (Liza) Lucinda Mitchell (1817-1881), who married Andy Norton (1820-?) then Gus Dearien (1817-1900)
  • Roena Norton (1841-?) 
  • Finetta Dearien Shannon (1861-1960), who married Samuel Pickens Shannon (1858-1930)
  • Nola Shannon Gower (1903-2004), who married Leroy Gower (1899-1974)
  • Maida Gower Shepard (b. 1924), who married Eugene Shepard (1921-2003)
  • Steve Shepard (b. 1948), who married Cynthia Harris (b. 1948)
  • Nathan Shepard (b. 1977), who married Chenda Sou (b. 1980)
  • Preslea Shepard (b. 2010)
Elizabeth Mitchell was born in South Carolina in 1817 to Henry and Abba Mitchell, but as a young woman moved westward with her family. They lived for short periods of time in Georgia and then Tennessee before settling in Stone County, Arkansas where she lived most of the rest of her life. Stone County is where both my Gower grandparents were born and raised.

About 1840 Elizabeth married a man named Andy Norton near Mountain View, Arkansas, and by him had one daughter, Roena Norton. That marriage ended after just a few years and she then married a man named Gus Dearien and with him had two other children, David and Mary. One of the uglier events of our family history occurred when Elizabeth's second husband Gus Dearien had a child by his stepdaughter Roena Norton. He then added insult to injury by causing Roena's disappearance, but kept the child Finetta, and raised her in their home. I have written about that previously in this family blog and do not need to dwell on it here. This post is more about Elizabeth Mitchell Dearien, mother of Rowena and grandmother of Finetta Clementine Dearien. (See picture above of Finetta and her daughter Nola.)


Living well is the best revenge. Despite the dysfunction of the Dearien family, Elizabeth seems to have made a decent life for herself and her children. Her first child Finetta actually created a wonderful family of her own when she married Samuel Pickens Shannon. With him she bore 9 children, the last one being my Grandmother Nola Shannon Gower. Elizabeth and Finetta each had plenty of justification for being bitter and resentful of Gus' unscrupulous actions. Instead Elizabeth illustrates the truth of the saying of George Herbert, "Living well is the best revenge." 

She had all the reason in the world to get back at her husband. Instead she made the best of what came her way. She was a remarkable woman of extraordinary fortitude who endured to the end, and made of her life and her family the best she could under the circumstances. Obviously the sparsely populated hills of Northern Arkansas in the mid 19th century (during and after the Civil War) was no place for a woman to expect much justice from the domestic wrongdoing she had experienced.

So she continued her life with Mr. Dearien for 40 years and died at 64 in Timbo, near Mountain View, Arkansas in the fall of 1881. She is buried in Blue Mountain Cemetery in Timbo alongside her husband. Here is a link to her her online grave page. The picture above on the left is the headstone for L.L. Dearien (Liza Lucinda) and her husband A. M. Dearien (Augustus Marvin) in Blue Mountain Cemetery.


The story of Elizabeth Mitchell Dearien is a sobering reminder of how Mother's Day must be more than a sentimental celebration of charming women. It is also a remembrance of women who had a difficult time in life but endured remarkably despite the injustices that came their way. As we approach Mother's Day 2015, I suggest to you that Elizabeth Lucinda Mitchell Dearien is one such person, a remarkable mother who deserves remembering and celebrating.

William and Bura Shepard's 100th Anniversary. New this week on William and Bura Shepard's anniversary page is a musical-photo presentation of William Shepard and Bura Davis Shepard with family and friends over the years. Select this link to visit their Anniversary Page and view the new photo presentation. 
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Steve Shepard